My Dirty Little Secret
by black-roulette
Summary: Rated for drunken Axel, swearing, and a terrible lemon. Demyx loves Zexion, but he's afraid to tell him. What happens when a curious Xigbar gets a hold of his journal? ZexionxDemyx. OOC. Fluff. Sides of AkuRoku [constructive criticism welcome]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I dun own crap, 'kay? If I did, I'd be a very happy person, but I don't sooo…yeah…

Summary: Demyx loves Zexion, but he's afraid to tell him. What happens when a curious Xigbar gets a hold of his journal?

Riko-chan: Oh my GOD! It's been FOREVER since I last wrote something! Plot bunnies were scampering across my mind when I was chatting with my friend. Speaking of which, I need to give a huge thank you to her for helping me think of a title! Thanks man, you rock! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story. Review if you'd like, but I don't necessarily care.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Done!" Demyx said happily, closing his journal and setting the pen on top of it. "Another entry complete!"

"DEMYX! It's your turn to make dinner! And hurry the hell up! We're starving!" Axel called from down the hall.

"Ohmigawsh! I totally forgot! COMING!"

Demyx dashed down the hall. This wasn't the only time he forgot kitchen duty. His journal always got the best of him…

"Man! I am so toa—" Before Demyx could finish his sentence, he found himself on the floor, an emotionless Zexion in front of him.

"Owch. What's the rush?" Zexion asked, face cold as stone.

"I…I…eh, you see, it's my turn to fix dinner and I kindda forgot sooo…yeah…" the blonde replied with an adorable blush. _Damn it! How do I always get myself into these situations! Especially making a total fool out of myself in front of Zexion! _

"Whatever. Get a move on. The others are growing angry." The lilac-haired man held out his hand for Demyx to grab, pulling him to his feet. With that done, he walked off, leaving Demyx alone in the hall.

"Arg! I don't have _time _for this! I gotta get to the kitchen before I get killed!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Xigbar strolled the halls of the Castle That Never Was and walked up to Demyx's room. His stomach was growling and he was NOT a happy camper. He knocked on the door once, but soon decided it was pointless and charged in.

"Demyx you—" He looked around the empty room, a grin coming to his face. "You're not in here. Now's my chance to…_look around_…"

Xigbar walked into the room, closing the door behind him. A small chuckle escaped his lips. "Oooh… What's this?"

He picked up a navy-blue book on Number IX's bed and examined it closely. _Demyx isn't the type to read. Unless…_

Curiosity getting the best of him, Xigbar opened the book and flipped through its contents.

Tuesday, 7:30 pm 

_Today was pretty fun! After a few "unlikely discoveries," I just had to write 'em down! For starters, I never really paid close attention to the Superior's name, but it turns out that his name scrambled is "Mansex!" Heehee. Who would've thought?_

"This is no ordinary book," Xigbar said, his grin turning into a devious smirk. "This is Demyx's _journal_! Oooh, this is too good!"

Anyway, later that day, I found Axel and Zexion in the commons, drinking. I could tell they were already drunk. Axel is the best drunk! I felt bad that Zexion was drunk, though. But he was funny! He was standing on the table while holding a stick and shouting, "This stick will kick your ass!" Axel ran and hid under the table screaming for mercy. I could tell they were having fun, but I didn't last long. Soon Roxas came storming into the room, grabbing Axel by the ear and screaming something about underwear all over his floor. That was a true Kodak moment!

Xigbar stifled a laugh. "Zexion getting drunk? Underwear all over Roxas's floor? Axel in pain? Aw, man, this is _priceless_!"

I also discovered something about myself… 

Number II raised an eyebrow in intrest.

_I've been feeling this way for quite awhile, but I guess I wasn't ready to put it on paper until now. It turns out that I…am in love with Zexion…"_

Xigbar froze, staring at the last line.

"WAHAHAHAHA! Oh my GOD! I would have NEVER expected this! Demyx is in love with _Zexion_! Ohhh, this is too rich!"

_But you know that comment about us not being able to feel? I don't believe it. At. All. I believe we _can_ feel. Why? Because I get a warm, fuzzy feeling whenever Zexy's near. I absolutely refuse to believe that we can't feel! Oops. It's late. I guess I should wrap it up for now. Besides, I think I hear someone coming…_

Xigbar laughed again. Can someone say blackmail? He was just about to flip the page until Demyx called everyone to dinner.

"I'll just get back to this later." Number II said with a snort.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Riko-chan: Well? Well? I hope you enjoyed it, 'cause I sure enjoyed typing it. Depending on if people liked it or not, I'll update. Until then…ciao!


	2. Chapter 2

Riko-chan: Here it is! The second chapter! Oooh… Seeing how a bunch of people liked the first chapter (thanks for the reviews by the way!), I decided to post the second one! Besides…the plot bunnies wouldn't let me sleep last night. Hope you like this chapter as well as the first! By the way, the joke Xigbar tells is the actual joke my cousin told me. I thought it was funny. :shrug:

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"DINNER TIME!" Demyx shouted at the top of his lungs.

Xigbar snickered and stashed the precious book in his coat. _Oh, the kick I'm gonna get out of this!_

He walked down to the dinning room, Zexion right behind him. Number II laughed mentally.

"Dinner is served!" Demyx said happily, placing a huge pot of stew on the table.

"'Bout time!" Axel said with a grin.

"Somehow I had a feeling we'd be having stew." Marluxia muttered, filling his bowl.

Xigbar was just about to shove his spoon in his mouth until he remembered the verses in the journal. He dropped his utensil in mid-air and burst into a fit of laughter.

"And what exactly is so funny, Number II?" Xemnas asked in an annoyed tone.

Xigbar just stared at his superior. _Mansex!_ Number II soon found himself on the floor, clutching his side as his laughter raged on.

"ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!" the silver-haired man shouted, causing everyone to freeze.

"S-sorry!" Xigbar giggled. "Just thinking of a joke!"

"Well if it's so funny, why don't you share it with us?" the Superior asked, glaring at the one-eyed man.

"Err…uh…" Xigbar searched his mind for a good joke. "Okay. Well, a pilot, a boy scout, Albert Einstein, and George Washington are all on a crashing plane, right? They all wanna escape their deaths, but there are only three parachutes. The pilot says, 'I'm too young to die' and grabs the first parachute. Einstein grabs the second one and says, 'I'm too smart to die!' George Washington smiles at the boy scout and says, 'You go ahead and take the last one. I've lived my life. You're just starting.' The boy scout shakes his head and laughs, 'Oh, that's okay! We can both go! Einstein took my backpack!"

Demyx and Axel cracked up. Xaldin, Roxas and Luxord snickered. Xemnas, Larxene, and Zexion just rolled their eyes while everyone else let out a "Pffft!"

Xigbar let out a sigh of relief, a smirk plastered on his face.

"What are you smirking about?" Zexion asked, knowing something else was on Number II's mind.

"Besides the joke?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm…"

"Well?" the lilac-haired man said, a little more firmly.

Xigbar lifted his index finger to his lips, smirk and all, pointing it up at a slight angle. "I've got a dirty little secret."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Zexion was only three feet away from his door. He turned around when he heard somebody call his name.

"Zexion!"

Number VI sighed, rolling his eyes. "_What, _Xigbar?"

"I bet you're wondering what my secret is, aren't ya?"

"No, not really."

"Really, now? Even when the secret includes you?"

"What! Tell me this instant!"

"Oh, I will. …For 2,000 munny…"

Zexion's mouth dropped. "WHAT!"

"You heard me." Xigbar grinned, pulling Demyx's journal out of his pocket. "For 2,000 munny, the truth will be yours."

"Cheapskate…" Zexion mumbled, pulling out his cash. "Here. Now hand it over."

"Thank you! But a simple warning; don't let Demyx catch you," Number II said, handing the book to Zexion.

Before Zexion could ask why, Xigbar dashed down the hall.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"What a crazy night…" Demyx yawned, walking into his room. Washing dishes was NOT fun. At all. It was tiring, but yet, it was kind of interesting. "Maybe I should--"

Number IX's eyes widened, a scream making its way to his mouth. This wasn't good in any way.

"MY JOURNAL! IT'S GONE!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Riko-chan: Ooooh! Cliffhanger! XD Sorry, guys! I've just always wanted to do this! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter more than the first. The plot bunnies are driving me insane! Anyway, if this keeps going good, I'll update faster than you can say "Dance, water, dance!"


	3. Chapter 3

Riko-chan: Okay! Damn plot bunnies. They keep getting the best of me! XD Anyhoo, just for my reviewers, I updated! Here you guys go! Hope you like fluff, 'cause you'll be seeing a lot of it! Eeeeeeeenjoy! Sorry if it's a little sloppy!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"MY JOURNAL! I've got to find it!" Demyx cried, tears swelling up in his eyes. "If that book gets into the wrong hands… OHHHH!"

The Melodious Nocturne ran faster than a speeding bullet. He was just about to turn the corner until he ran smack dab into a severely drunk Axel who, by the way, was butt naked.

"Heeeeya, Demyx, ol' buddy, ol' pal! How ya doin'?" The pyro asked, smiling lopsidedly. "I'm looking for that Axel guy. He said if I took all my clothes off he'd give my twenty dollars if I took all my clothes off…"

"Not now, Axel! I--" He looked at Axel curiously. "How drunk are you, anyway?"

"Drunk? I'm not d-drunk! I…I…I swear to _drunk _I am not _God_!" Number VIII stammered, swaying back and forth.

Demyx shook his head. Just then, the little light bulb clicked on. "Axel, my good friend. Tell me something. Do you by any chance have my journal?"

"What's a-a…_journal _thingy?" the drunk redhead asked stupidly.

"A book. It's navy-blue and…well…maybe you don't have it. After all, you're too drunk to do anything." And with that, Demyx rushed on.

"Okay! I'll see you when I find you!" the drunken, naked pyro yelled, waving rapidly.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Zexion shut his door, questions running through his mind. _What in the world is this thing? I know it's a book, but…_

The Cloaked Schemer plopped himself on the bed and opened the little book.

_Wednesday, 8:00 pm_

_Time sure flies, doesn't it? Anyway, about today. I was sitting outside when I saw Zexion. He was walking around, looking just as emo as ever. I feel so horrible… Just seeing him sad makes me wanna cry. I…I really do love him. But…I'm too scared to tell him. I just…can't…_

Zexion's mouth dropped. His eyes grew wide and his hands started to twitch. His whole body started to twitch. What? What is this?

"Oh…my… Who? Who's book…no, who's _journal_ is this?"

Just then, a worried Demyx came barging into Number VI's room. "Zexion have you seen my--"

Demyx gasped, staring at the book in Zexion's hands. "Zexion… You…_you took my journal! _How could you!"

"No! Demyx! This isn't what it looks like! I didn't know! I--"

"NO! Shut up! I don't wanna hear it! You invade my privacy by stealing my own journal! You saw, didn't you!" the blonde screamed, tears streaming down his face.

"Y-yes… But I--! I was--! Demyx!" Zexion looked hurt. He should have _never _bought the book from Xigbar. After all, Xigbar was nothing but trouble.

"I don't care! Well, now you know! But to think I was in love with _you_! I was in love with a total _jerk!_" Demyx dashed out of the room, tears falling from his eyes like waterfalls.

"Dem!" Zexion chased after the poor sitar player. It hurt. It hurt to see Demyx sad. He was going to make it up to him. Besides…he loved Demyx. He loved him more than anything in this pathetic world.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Xigbar watched as a sobbing Demyx rushed by him. His eyes gleamed with mischief. "Heheheh… I thought I told him not to let Demyx see. Oh well. This is just as good."

"Demyx!"

Xiggy turned around, watching as Zexion chased after Number IX. "Wow. What's Zexion so upset for? He wanted the truth and he got it."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Demyx sat by a small pond, sobbing uncontrollably. Out of all the no-good tricks, who would be evil enough to steal a journal and read it?

"I-I can't b-believe it! The m-man I l-loved so much s-stole my j-journal! DAMN IT!"

He heard soft footsteps, but decided to ignore them. He didn't feel like talking to _anyone_.

"Dem?"

"Oh. It's _you._ What do you want, _bastard_?"

Zexion froze. His adorable Demyx called him a bastard? The lilac-haired man shook his head and sat down beside the sitar player. He was about to scoot away until Number VI took his hands.

"Wh-what are you--?"

"Shhh… Dem, listen to me. It wasn't my fault. I bought the journal from Xigbar. I didn't know what it was! Honest! He said that it involved me and I wanted to know so I read it! I didn't know! I'm sorry! I'm terribly, terribly sorry. I…I love you, too. I just hope you can forgive me…

Demyx stopped crying. What did he just say? Did he…just say he loved him? "Y-you what?"

"I love you, Demyx." Zexion said, more serious than he ever was.

"Really?"

"Yes."

Demyx smiled faintly, snuggling up to Zexion. The Cloaked Schemer grinned and wrapped his arms around the blonde. He kissed his forehead gently, running his fingers through his hair. "I forgive you, Zexy…"

"Good…"

Totally oblivious to his presence, a visitor stood by, hiding in the bushes. A small smile came to his lips as he snapped a photo. "I'll just hide this…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Riko-chan: Aww! How cute! And who is this so-called visitor? I can't reveal it to you! It's a surprise! And no, it's not Xigbar. But fear not! The fic is far from over! I hope I'm not scaring you off! There WILL be more funny, tho. A lot more funny. So, don't worry about that!


	4. Chapter 4

Riko-chan: And here's chapter number 4! Yaay! Heheh…after watching a video on YouTube, I can't stop thinking about Demyx's quote, "Silence, Traitor." XD I love that line! Ready for the visitor? I thought so! Oh, and this chapter is crackish! Yaay!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"I'll just hide this," Roxas repeated to himself. It's been a long time since he took a photo of someone. It was kind of hard to do so after he snapped a shot of Larxene in the shower. What a painful experience _that _was…

"Hehehe…" Number XIII giggled, stashing the camera into his cloak.

"Dem?" Zexion said with a tender smile.

"Hm?"

"Lets go to my room."

"Okay."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Zexion laughed at the photo placed in front of him. Demyx had gotten out his photo album and was showing the best pictures in his collection to the Cloaked Schemer.

"God, that was hilarious! Axel was so fucking funny! His little eggnog frenzy was the life of the party! Hard to believe the guy can get so worked up on the stuff!" Zexion said, falling backwards on his bed.

Yes, Axel and eggnog. Not a very good combination. You see, after last year's Christmas party, they stopped serving eggnog. Axel just HAD to go and raid Larxene's room after about ten glasses. He came out wearing nothing but one of her best bras and fancy pair of panties. Lets just say the poor fella was in a wheelchair for the next week.

"What about this one?" Demyx asked happily, placing a photo of Xemnas in a bunny costume from Halloween on the bed.

"Pfft! Make it stop!" Zexion cried, falling off the bed in a laughing fit.

Demyx smiled at Zexion's happiness. _I never knew he could be so happy. In fact, I never knew he could laugh!_

"Oh, Demyx. I never knew I could actually laugh like that! Maybe it was a _good _thing that I read your journal!" Number VI said with a grin.

"Silence, you traitor!" Demyx laughed, throwing a pillow at Zexion's head. Unfortunately, it missed.

"Ha! Your aim sucks, Mullet Boy!" Zexion teased, making a face.

"Zexy, you jerk!" the Melodious Nocturne cried, throwing another pillow, which hit Zexion directly this time. "Ha! Take that!"

Zexion grabbed the pillow that rested on his lap and threw it, sending Demyx off the bed. "Owie! That's it, Zexy! This means war! PILLOW FIGHT!"

"Bring it on!" the Cloaked Schemer smirked, arming himself.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Axel was walking, well, more like stumbling down the halls when he heard laughter coming from Zexion's room.

"Huh?"

"Axel!" he heard Roxas call.

"Oi! Roxas! How ya doin' _buuuuuuddy_? Wow! You're really hot!" the redhead slurred, glomping the poor blonde.

"You're under the influence of alcohol again, aren't you?" Roxas asked, sighing.

"N-no! I'm not under the alcofluence of incohol! H-hey, Rox? If I give you five nickels, will you gimme a penny?"

"NO! You're going to bed, mister! That hangover's gonna kill you in the morning!" Roxas yelled, grabbing the poor pyro by the ear.

"Owww!"

As they were passing the door, Roxas grinned. It was good to hear both Demyx _and _Zexion having fun.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Surrender, you jerk!" Demyx yelled playfully.

"Never! There's only room for one victor in this room and that's me!" Zexion laughed, dodging another flying pillow.

"Damn it!" Demyx pouted. "Missed again…"

Zexion just laughed. Demyx was so cute when he pouted. "All right, I give!"

Demyx turned around, stunned. "Seriously! You give?"

"Yep. I surrender." Number VI chuckled, raising his hands in the air. "You call the shots."

Demyx put a finger to his lips, pretending to think. "Hmmm… I want a kiss!"

"Aww… Do I have to?" the lilac-haired man said, pretending to pout.

"Yes! You do!" Demyx laughed, pouncing on Zexion.

Zexion pressed his lips to Demyx's, giving him a small, gentle kiss. "That's all for tonight." he murmured, pulling the blonde close. "It's time for bed."

"Okay!" Demyx climbed onto the bed, stripping down to his boxers. Zexion did the same.

"Night, Zexy!" Demyx said, cuddling close to Zexion.

"Good night, love."

And with that, he turned off the light.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Riko-chan: Yaaay! Another chap. complete! I had a hard time choosing between Roxas and Larxene for the one with the camera. Such a tough decision! Woo! Hope you liked it! And no, it's still not over! More to come! So hang tight! Until then, ciao!


	5. Chapter 5

Riko-chan: Omg! I almost ran outta ideas! XD But thanks to my friend, I got a couple more ideas! Yay! I was reading fics last night and I just remembered how much I dislike angst and tragedy! It makes me cry! So, there will be a little drama, but no angst. Just a fair warning.

0o0o00o0o0o0o0o0

Demyx shifted in the bed, feeling a warm body press against his. His eyes fluttered open and blushed at the site. Zexion was right next to him, holding him close. "Zexy?"

"Mmm? What?" Zexion groaned, shifting his position a little bit.

"Shouldn't we get up?"

"No. It's too early. Go back to sleep." the lilac-haired man mumbled, burying his face in his pillow.

"I need to get back to my room. What if somebody catches us?" the blonde asked, running his fingers through soft lilac hair.

The half-asleep figure just groaned in response.

"Alright. You stay in bed. But if you get chewed out, don't say I didn't warn you!" Demyx said with a chuckle.

"Whatever…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Axel? AXEL!" Roxas shouted, startling the redhead out of his sleep.

"Owww! Whisper, will ya? This hangover's killin' me!" Axel moaned, holding his head in his hands.

"I told you, dumbass. Anyway, I have something to show you!" the blonde said cheerfully, pulling out a photo.

"Do I even wanna see?" the pyro asked, eyes half closed.

"Yes! You've gotta! It's cute!" Roxas said with the biggest grin Axel has ever seen.

"Alright, alright. Show me."

"Here! See?"

Axel stared at the photo, a grin coming to his face. "Well it's about time! I always knew those two would end up together."

"I know!"

Axel rubbed his head. This was one _hell _of a hangover. "I need a pillow."

"You've got one right there, idiot." Roxas said, pointing to Axel's favorite pillow.

"No, I mean I need a _better _pillow. That one's not cuttin' it…" the redhead mumbled. "I know!"

Number VIII grabbed Roxas and rested his head on his stomach. "Muuuch better. You make a comfy pillow, pal."

"Yeah, well, don't get use to it." Roxas laughed, unaware that he tossed the picture aside and that it was now laying outside the door.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Xigbar walked down the hallways, wonder what happened to Demyx and Zexion. He hadn't seen either of them for the rest of the night. _Maybe they killed each other. Oh, that'd be sweet! No more emo kids or loud music! Yes!_

As he passed Axel's door, he noticed a piece of paper on the floor. Curious to see what it was, he picked it up. To his surprise, it was no piece of paper. It was a _picture_. Not just any picture, but a picture of Zexion and Demyx. _Cuddling_.

"Oh my God…" Number II whispered to himself. "So _that's _what happened. I don't like it. It's sickening."

A devious plot came to mind, his lips curling into an evil smirk. "I know just what to do… Demyx and Zexion, watch out."

An evil laugh escaped his lips as he walked off towards the commons. The little wheels in his head began to turn, even though that didn't happen that often. Normally, he was just dense, but if his plans worked, he's be a self-proclaimed genius. Maybe he'd even get a little _respect _around this joint. That didn't happen very much, either.

"Ooooh! This is gonna be good!" He said to himself, tossing the photo in a conveniently located trash bin. "Just wait and see! I'll be the greatest schemer ever! Better than Emo Boy! Hahaha!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Riko-chan: Uh oh. Smells like trouble! Whatever _is _the cruel man going to do! Mommy! Save me! grabs hold of Marluxia Quick! Jump out that window!

Marluxia: _Excuse me?_

Riko-chan: Heehee. Anyway, was this one better than the last? Sorry if the last chapter kindda sucked. I was a little out of it. It was at like, 1 a.m. when I wrote it! XD Oh yeah, sorry if it's not as funny as the last ones. I wanted to be a little more serious in this chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

Riko-chan: Oosh! Sorry if you guys were waiting longer than you expected! I've been like, way busy studding for a test and the plot bunnies stopped. I got a few last night, so now I'm writing again! Yaaay! And to my reviewers: Thank you very much for your support! It keeps smiling in my hard times! It's something I really need right now! Just for you guys, I'm gonna work my arse off to make this a great fic! Thanks a bundle! Oh, and to all you guys who asked if I didn't like Xigbar very much, the answer is yes. Not that I'm bashing or anything! He's just really annoying. I got my butt kicked by him hundreds of times… Plus I thought he'd make the perfect bad guy! Heehee…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Xigbar stopped at the laboratory, that evil grin still plastered on his face. He didn't feel like knocking, so he barged right in.

"Hey, Vexen! I need to ask you a favor!"

Vexen sighed, setting down his current experiment. "What?"

"Can you make something for me?"

"Depends. What is it that you want?"

"I need a contraption that will make me look like anyone I want at anytime. Think you can do it?"

Vexen scoffed. "Think I can do it? I _know _I can do it! …Just, what do you want it for?"

"I have my reasons." Xigbar said with a sly smile.

"Very well. On one condition."

"Name it."

"You absolutely, under _any _circumstances, will not disguise yourself as me. Understand?" Vexen said, giving a death glare that said "If you do, I'll kill you."

"Yes. I understand _perfectly_."

"Good. Come back in a few days. It'll be ready then."

"WHAT? A couple days! I can't wait that long! I need it in at least two hours!" Xigbar cried, mouth dropping.

"Take it or leave it."

"I'll take it…" Number II mumbled, making his way to the door.

"It'll take two days at the least!" Vexen called after him, picking up his current experiment.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Zexy?" Demyx said, running his hand through soothing, cool water.

"Hm?"

"Do you think we'll ever get our hearts back?"

Zexion's eyes widened at the question. Since when did Demyx ask such deep questions? It made Zexion think. And I mean _really _think.

"I…don't know. More than likely not. After all, nobodies can't be somebodies." the lilac-haired man answered with emotionless eyes.

"Really? Well, that's your opinion. I think we will, someday or another." Demyx replied to the statement, staring at the pond in front of the pair. "I'll make a bet with you."

"Oh? Spit it out."

Demyx grinned. "If we do get our hearts back, _you _have to…buy me coffee for the next week."

Zexion chuckled. "And if we don't get our hearts back?"

"I'll let you decide that."

"Hm. Well, if we don't, you have to…accompany me to the lab."

"WHAT!" Demyx cried. "No!"

"Yes. I know how much you _love_ going in there." Zexion said, moving closer to Demyx. "We'll wait this year, but if we don't get our hearts back by then, guess who's gonna be right by my side all day long in that scary laboratory?"

Demyx swallowed hard. He absolutely _hated _places with sharp, pointy objects. He especially hated science labs after he walked in on a little experiment Vexen and Zexion were preforming. Lets just say it had to do with cutting things open and removing their insides…

"That poor little froggy…" Demyx muttered, running his hands through the water again.

Number VI laughed. He replayed Demyx's priceless expression over in his head. Those huge, terrified eyes, his mouth dropping. His speechlessness. Ah yes, the speechlessness. His favorite part.

"You're so mean, Zexy!" Demyx cried, pushing Zexion into the water. "Oops…"

Zexion surfaced, his hair clinging to his face. "Demyx you… Why I odda!"

"It was an accident, I swear!" Demyx shrieked, scooting back.

"I'm am _so _gonna…"

Demyx yelped as Zexion flung himself on top of the defenseless blonde, pinning him to the ground. "You wanna see mean, do you? Well, I can arrange that…"

"Zexion! I…I…oh, Zexion!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Oh…my…ewww!" Xigbar said, turning his head in the opposite direction. "I just _had _to walk outside and catch Zexion fucking Demyx! YUCK! I'm gonna lose my lunch!"

Yes, it was true. Xigbar was coming outside to look for the couple. He found them, alright. Right. By. The. Pond. Oh, man, the poor guy almost lost it! He was about to scream in terror.

"I gotta stop this before it gets worse!" Number II said, dashing out of the bushes and into the castle. "This is what I get for selling that damn journal to Zexion! Why couldn't I sell it to Xaldin or something!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Zexion smirked. He never thought he'd get to do something so…_open_. Demyx was panting, clinging to Zexion for dear life. The task was done, but they were still recovering from the adrenalin.

"Z-Zexy…" Demyx said hoarsely, running his fingers through sweaty lilac hair. Zexion smiled in response.

"Gawd… You're so beautiful…" Zexion whispered, nipping at Demyx's ear.

"Zexy, stop. We…need to get back inside."

Number VI only groaned in response. "Fine…"

They put on their clothes and gripped each other's hands. Before they started walking back, Zexion grinned, planting a kiss on Demyx's cheek. The blonde giggled and dragged Zexion back to the castle.

"Looks like another entry for my journal!"

Zexion just laughed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Riko-chan: Hmmm…mebbe I should change the rating to M, eh:chuckle: Well? Interesting or not? Tell me whatcha think!

Marluxia: You're…crazy.

Riko-chan: Shaddup, Marlu.

Marluxia: I want a bigger part!

Riko-chan: Fine, fine! Have it your way! You'll get one!


	7. Chapter 7

Riko-chan: Yaay! Chapter seven! And guess what! Marlu has a bigger part!

Marluxia:reads: Not bad. Could be better, though.

Riko-chan: Hey, shut-- Eww… Ewwwwww!

Marluxia: What?

Riko-chan:points in water: Bug…in…glass… XIGBAR!

Xigbar: Mehehehehehe!

Riko-chan: I'm gonna kill him. Anyway, sorry if you got a little confused on that so called "lemon" of mine. I've never actually written a serious lemon, so, yeah. Anyway, I'll try better, k? Ok! Here ya go!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Is it finished yet?" an impatient Xigbar asked Vexen.

"Almost. Just a couple more minutes. But…you never _did_ answer my question. What are you using it for?"

"You asked that?"

Vexen sighed. "Yes, I asked that. You probably didn't hear me, seeing on how you totally spaced out on Thursday." Vexen sighed, examining the contraption.

"Is it done?" Xigbar asked, trying to change the subject.

"No. Just answer the question. If you don't, you're not getting this." Vexen replied sternly.

Xigbar tensed up, then sighed. "Did you know Zexion and Demyx are together?"

Vexen's eyes grew wide. He almost dropped the invention, but luckily caught it. "What! No, I didn't! When did this happen?"

"A few days ago. Anyway, it's kindda my fault that they're together. And I…well…"

Vexen's mouth dropped. "Xigbar, you evil, evil man! Are you saying that you're going to try and…_break them up_?"

"Yes." Xigbar said, looking at the ground.

Vexen just chuckled. "Fine. Have your fun." He tossed the now finished doohickey to Number II.

"Y-you're_ serious_?" Xigbar gasped, staring at the little device.

"Yes. I don't necessarily approve of this 'relationship', so go ahead and knock yourself out. By the way, you…might want to test that thing out."

Xigbar grinned and pressed the button, changing himself into a perfect replica of Vexen himself.

"Hey, that's…Whoa, whoa, WHOA! What did I say, mister! No changing into me!"

Xigbar laughed. "I know, I know. I was just testing it out! Jeez, Mr. Stick-Up-the-Ass."

"One more name like that and I'll--"

Xigbar pressed the button again and changed back to normal. "I know. You'll take the fucker away from me. Got it."

"Hmph. Well, get moving. Dinner's in a few hours."

"Right. Plan on separating them before then." Number II said with a sly smile, walking out the door.

After shutting the door, Xigbar pressed the button again and changed into a perfect copy of Zexion.

"This should be fun…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Marluxia?"

Marluxia turned around to see Zexion standing in the doorway. "Hey, what's up, Zexion?"

"Nothing."

The lilac-haired man grinned. Something seemed different about him.

"Did something happen?" the pink-haired man asked, eyeing the other man suspiciously.

"No! I just have to tell you something!"

Marluxia shook his head. "What?"

"Weeell…"

Zexion smirked and walked slowly to the couch Number XI was planted on.

"What are you…?"

Zexion climbed on top of Marluxia and pressed his finger to his lips. "Shhh… I didn't say what I wanted to yet."

"Z-Zexion?"

Without another word, Zexion pressed his lips to Marluxia's, wrapping his arms around the pink-haired man's neck.

"Mmmph!" Marluxia gasped, trying to break free from the kiss.

Zexion broke the kiss, a pout on his face. "Why, what's wrong, Marlu? Don't you enjoy my company?"

"Look, Zex, you're cool and all, but it's just that I--"

Marluxia was stopped in mid-sentence by a loud gasp.

"Z-Zexion?"

Zexion turned his head, a grin on his face. "Oh! Dem! I forgot to tell you! I'm in love with Marluxia. You don't have a problem with it, do you?"

Demyx's eyes filled up with tears. "Y-you what?"

"I just told you. I love Marluxia, okay?"

"No! It's not okay! You were in love with him the whole time! You were just using me? Is that it!"

Zexion shrugged. "Sorry."

"You…you…YOU UNGRATEFUL, IGNORANT, EVIL, SON OF A BITCH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YOU WERE JUST _USING _ME? HOW DARE YOU!" Demyx screamed, dashing out the door.

Zexion stood up and shook his head. "I better go talk to him. It's the 'polite' thing to do, y'know?"

Marluxia shook his head after Zexion left the room. "That is _not _Zexion. He came to me yesterday and told me all about his 'precious Demyx' and how he'd 'never choose anyone over him.' I know for a God damn fact that that is not Zex. I gotta get to the bottom of this…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"ZEEEEEX!"

Zexion set down his book and saw a red-faced, exhausted Marluxia. "What, Marluxia?"

"Zex, tell me something. Did you come into the lounge earlier to…see me?"

Zexion looked at the pink-haired man funny. "Uh, no. Just yesterday when I needed some advice from you, but that's it."

"Ha! I knew it! Anyway, something freaky is going on and I am _not_ liking it at all!" Marluxia said, his face turning from happy to dead serious in a heartbeat.

"What's going on?" Number VI asked, shifting uneasily in his chair.

"Zex, someone is running around pretending to be you. I think…they're trying to break you and Demyx up."

"WHAT!"

"Listen, someone disguised as you came into the lounge earlier. They…started hitting on me."

Zexion almost gagged. "W-what? That's just wrong!"

"I know! …But anyway, Demyx walked in to see 'you' on top of me. It was bad, man! BAD!"

Zexion's face hardened. "Oh. Fucking. No. They. Didn't."

"Oh, they did. And I think I know someone who might have something to do with it." Marluxia said, matter-of-factly.

"Tell me."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Riko-chan: DAYUM! This isn't good at all! Marlu, you better tell Zexy soon!

Marluxia: Oh, don't worry! I will!

Riko-chan: Man, what's gonna happen to poor Demyx? Will Zexion go all evil on whoever's ass? WILL THERE BE NO END TO THIS MADNESS?


	8. Chapter 8

Riko-chan: Eesh…long time no update, huh? Sorry about that! I've been distracted…a lot. The Count Cain manga series and the band Loverboy have been possessing my soul. Jeez. But, I decided to continue before I forget about this fic completely! (cries silently in fear of forgetting)

Marluxia: Oh, for heaven's sake…

Riko-chan: What? Anyway, here! Enjoy!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"VEXEN!" Zexion's voice boomed loudly in the laboratory. Vexen was so startled that he dropped his current project.

"_What?_" he hissed, sending Zexion a "I'm gonna kill you now" look.

Zexion's glare was just as deadly. "I want answers."

"To what?" Vexen asked, annoyed as hell.

"To how there are to Zexions running around the castle." came Marluxia's stern voice..

"I-I don't know what you're talking about! Now if you don't mind, I have work to do!"

"Ohh no, buddy." Zexion slammed his hands on Number IV's desk. "I know you do. Now, tell me!"

"And what if I don't?"

That's it. Zexion lost it. Before anyone could say anything, Zexion tackled Vexen to the ground, yanking him by the collar. "Listen, you little asshole! I _demand_ to know how anyone could disguise themselves as me! Only _you _would know! Now spit it out!"

"Okay, okay! I'll tell you…"

Marluxia helped the scientist to his feet, shooting a dirty look at him in the process.

"It all started like this…"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Demyx sat in the rain at the top of the castle, sobbing uncontrollably. "D-damn it…"

"Hey, Demyx?"

Demyx gasped at the voice. "O-oh. Hi, A-Axel…"

"Dem, what's wrong?" Axel sat beside the Melodious Nocturne, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Z-Zexion was just using me… H-he never loved me…" came the soft reply.

"That's not true." Axel snapped, tightly gripping Demyx's shoulder.

"Ow! Axel, let go!"

"No! You know as well as I do that that's not true! He loves you and you only!"

"Then how come I saw him kissing Marluxia, huh?" Demyx asked coldly, yanking his arm away from Axel.

"He…that…I…"

"Seems like you can't come up with an explanation." Demyx spat, looking away from the redhead.

"Alright. So I don't know. Maybe if you talk to him, he'll give you an explanation." Axel sighed, one again resting his hand on Number IX's shoulder.

"I don't even wanna see his face right now." Demyx said, feeling the tears behind his eyes.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Zexion's eyes narrowed. "You…you…YOU JACKASS! How could you let that fucktard have his way? I should throw you out the window right now!"

Vexen let out an "eep" and backed into the wall. "I-I'm sorry! I admit it! It was wrong! I'M SORRY!"

"Sorry isn't good enough. You _do_ know you're in deep shit, right?" Marluxia asked harshly, accidentally knocking off the chemicals and whatnot that was settled on the desk. "Oops…"

Zexion yanked Vexen to his feet. "You will come with me to talk to Demyx and you will bring Xigbar with you.

"Y-yes…" Vexen said in defeat.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Axel left the roof and went to his room, leaving Demyx alone. Not that Demyx cared. He was the one who asked Axel to leave in the first place.

"I still can't believe it…"

"Demyx!" Zexion came running up to him, a solemn look on his face.

"Whaddaya want? I'm busy." Demyx spat harshly.

"Look, I'm sorry. It's just that I--"

"DEMYX!"

Demyx turned around, shocked. _Another_ Zexion came into view, gripping a sore Vexen by the ear. Marluxia brought up the rear. (omg! That rhymed! XD)

"Ow! Owowowowowow…OW! Let go of my ear!" Vexen cried.

"No! Not until you tell him what happened and who _that _is!" Zexion snapped, pointing at the imposter.

"Alright! Demyx…ow! That's not-ouch!-Zexion. That's-aaarg!-Xigbar! I made him a device that would disguise him as anything and will you stop yanking on my ear, Zexion!" Vexen said, trying to break free from the Cloaked Schemer's death grip.

"W-what?" Demyx asked in confusion, eyes shifting from one Zexion to the other.

"Damn it!" Xigbar cried, removing the disguise. "It's true. I was trying to break you guys up…"

Demyx gasped. "W-why? How did you even know that we were together?"

"As if it isn't obvious! I read your journal, idiot!"

Zexion dropped Vexen, rolled up his sleeves, and punched Xigbar, knocking out his tooth. "And if you do it again, I'm gonna throw your ass of the top of the building!"

Xigbar winced, picking up his tooth. Vexen stood up and dashed for the door, Number II right behind him.

"Dem…"

Demyx's eyes filled up with tears, a smile coming to his face. "Oh, Zexy!"

The blonde jumped into the lilac-haired man's arms, clinging to his cloak. Zexion chuckled, planting a kiss on the top of Demyx's head.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have doubted you in the first place…" Demyx cried softly.

"Don't apologize. You didn't know." Zexion said, tightening his grip on Demyx.

"Well, I guess that's it."

Zexion's attention turned to the pink-haired man. "What do you mean?"

"Look." Marluxia said, a smile coming to his face. "I guess I'll see you two around! But until then…"

Zexion and Demyx looked around, a ring of light surrounding them. "What the hell?"

And with that, the two fell unconscious in one another's arms.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Riko-chan: Omg! What's gonna happen next?

Marluxia: (sob)

Riko-chan: Aww! There, there, Marlu!

Marluxia: I'm gonna--! (sob)

Riko-chan: Poor Marlu. Anyway, I plan on the next chapter being the last. Mebbe I'll add an epilogue or something… We'll just have to see!


	9. Final Chapter!

Riko-chan: Oh. My. A-God. Last chappy! Sorry if it's a really short story, but I'm totally finished with ideas except for this chappy and a short epilogue. Oh yeah, and I finally got Marlu to stop crying.

Marluxia: (blows nose) I'm gonna miss them…(sniffle)

Riko-chan: Yeah. (wipes eyes) Me too… Anyway, enjoy the final chapter of My Dirty Little Secret!

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Zexion's eyes were still shut, but he could feel cold stone underneath him. Yet…he could feel an unmistakable warmth on top of him. And that sent…

"Uhhg…" The lilac-haired man refused to open his eyes as he muttered to himself, "Stupid stones. Stupid headache. Stupid weight in chest…"

His eyes snapped open. "Weight in chest?"

Demyx's eyes fluttered open. "My chest feels heavy!"

"Mine too, but you're on top of me so--"

"Oh my gosh! We're in Hallow Bastion! An _alleyway_ in Hallow Bastion!" Demyx cried, interrupting the lilac-haired man.

"What?"

"Wait…" the blonde put his ear to Zexion's chest. "I…I hear a heartbeat!"

Zexion's eyes widened. "I…impossible…"

He pressed his fingers to his neck and he too felt a pulse. "It's true…"

Demyx grinned. "Oh my God! Ohmigawd! OhmigawdohmigawdOHMIGAWD!"

"…Amazing…"

"Zexy--"

Zexion pressed a finger to Demyx's lips. "My name's not 'Zexy' or 'Zexion' anymore. It's Ienzo."

"Oh yeah! Well…my name's Myde!" the blonde said sweetly. "Nice to meet you, Ienzo!"

The lilac-haired man laughed. "Pleasure's all mine, Myde."

"So I was…oooh! I just remembered something!"

Ienzo raised an eyebrow. "May I ask what?"

"You gotta buy me coffee! For the next week, of course! I was so right! I knew we would! I knew we'd get our hearts back!" Myde said, getting up and doing a jig.

Ienzo snarled. "Don't rub it in…"

"Aw! I'm sorry, Ze…I mean, Ienzo!"

"Hmph."

Ienzo did _not_ like being wrong. It didn't matter if he was still Zexion, he did not like being wrong. This situation was rather embarrassing for our poor emo kid.

"Alright, alright. C'mon. I'll…buy you coffee." the lilac-haired man sighed.

"Yay! Sankyou, Ienzy!" Myde cried happily, clinging to Ienzo's arm.

Ienzy… It sounded strange and didn't have that certain ring to it, but it was okay in Ienzo's opinion. "Why not just call me Ien?"

"Okay! No, wait… I'll call you both from time to time!"

Ienzo just chuckled and took Myde's hand, leading him to the café across the street.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The house they just purchased wasn't too great, but it was big enough for their liking. It was a snug little house, located next to one of Hallow Bastion's many alleyways. It was two stories high, complete with attic and basement. Upstairs, there were three bedrooms and a bathroom. In the basement, there was a small lounge with a bedroom and bathroom. On the first floor, there was the living room, kitchen, and dinning room.

"Oh, it's so cute!" Myde said, jumping up and down.

"Yeah. Cheap, too." Ienzo sighed, a grin plastered on his face.

"Now we just need a fridge, beds, dressers, a washer and dryer, furniture for the upstairs and downstairs, and--"

Ienzo tuned Myde out. He didn't even want to think about how much all that was going to cost. On top of that, how the hell would he get that much money? No job paid that much!

"Oh, and maybe we can get a computer with internet. And of course we're gonna need a phone and--"

'Crap.' Ienzo thought. 'I'm going to have to work two jobs in order to pay for all this! Where the hell am I going to find a job that pays good money?'

"And--"

"Myde." Ienzo said firmly. "Just slow down for a minute. We need to think. We need to keep the clothes on our backs and keep food on the table! In order to do that, we need jobs."

"Jobs?"

"Yes! Jobs! You know, we need to work to make money. After we do that, then we can talk about this."

"Oh! Right! Sorry! I kindda forgot about that…"

Ienzo smiled and shook his head. Myde was so clueless. He hasn't changed a bit…

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Finally." Ienzo exclaimed, wiping the beads of sweat off his brow.

"Yay! Now we have internet!" Myde said gleefully, clapping his hands. "I'm so glad we're all settled in now! We have everything we need! By the way, how did you manage to get a raise _and _a promotion all at once?"

"That, my dear, is a secret." Ienzo said, checking out his handiwork.

Myde pouted. "Hmph!"

Ienzo chuckled. "Oh, by the way. I found something of yours."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Here."

The lilac-haired man tossed a little blue book to Myde. "Oh my God! It's my journal! Where did you find it?"

"That, too, my love, is a secret. My _dirty_ little secret." Ienzo said, planting a kiss on Myde's lips.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Riko-chan: Oh my goodness! I think that was the longest chapter I've ever written! ...But I'm not quite sure... Oh, and if you think it's weird, I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do about it. That's why it's called "fan fiction". Heehee. Besides, I thought it would be a good idea for them to get their hearts back! I thought it was sweet!

Marluxia: (sniffle) Finished already?

Riko-chan: Well, maybe. Should I add an epilogue or not? Review and tell me what you think!

Marluxia: And Riko?

Riko-chan: Hm?

Marluxia: How _did_ Ienzo get a raise and a promotion all at once?

Riko-chan: Ask him yourself.


	10. Epilogue

Riko-chan: Okay, you know what? I decided to write an epilogue anyway. I'm not too fond of the ending but…yeah. I can't think. Heh… Oh, and thanks for all the reviews! They always put a smile on my face!

Marluxia: Oooh! I found out! Omg! I found out how Ienzo got a promo and a raise!

Riko-chan: How?

Marluxia: Lets just say that people are very lucky that they didn't get hurt…

Riko-chan: Oosh… Anyway, some people were wondering about Axel and Roxas. So, they're here in the epilogue! Yay! Oh, and I did this for extra funny. Just for the record.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Axel sighed, sipping a cup of coffee. Roxas just got finished giving him a lecture on "the importance of staying healthy" and "it's not good to consume all those booze at once." He didn't want to have to go through that again, so he got coffee instead of a beer.

"AXEL! Oh my God! Axel!"

Axel turned around to see Roxas in the doorway. "What?"

"Marluxia just told me something!"

"Ah? And what's that?"

"Oh jeez, he's bawling his eyes out. He said that Zexion and Demyx got their hearts back!"

Axel was shocked. …But the shock didn't last long, for he just spilt scalding hot coffee on his lap. "OWWW! Hot! Hothothothothot! OH MY GOD THAT'S FUCKING HOT!"

Roxas was trying to hold back his laughter, but that didn't work too well. He found himself on the floor holding his side. "You idiot!"

"SHUT UP, BLONDIE! WHY DON'T YOU GO AND SPILL HOT COFFEE ON YOURSELF AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!" Axel screamed, wiping himself off with a conveniently located towel.

"S-sorry! But it's just so f-funny! Can't…breathe…! Hahahaha!"

After about ten minutes of laughing and yelling, things finally calmed down and the duo started talking again.

"Okay, anyway, they got their hearts back?" Axel asked, now sipping a glass of water.

"Uh huh." Roxas nodded, taking a bite out of a sandwich.

"How?"

"I dunno."

"Does Xigbar know?"

"Yeah. He doesn't care, to tell you the truth. Now he's having fun tormenting Vexen. It's kindda funny!"

Axel snickered. Oh, the laughs they'll get when Vexen finally looses it.

"Well, anyway, I'm glad that things are slowly getting back to normal. It's a little too quiet without Demyx though…"

"Oh, and like you're not loud enough?" Roxas snickered.

"Shut up, Blondie."

Number XIII just laughed in response. "Whatever. C'mon, Pyro Boy, let's go get something to eat. I'm starving!"

"Right."

As they walked down the hall, Axel grinned. "So, how do you think it happened?"

"What?"

"How do you think they got their hearts back?"

"Beats me. Hey, do you think it'll happen to us?"

"It could. But that's a different story!"

Soon Roxas's laughter filled the castle as Axel tripped down the stairs.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Riko-chan: Aw, man that sucked! YUCK! Oh well. At least I'm satisfied! Now I can sleep…

Marluxia: Dayum. What's your problem?

Riko-chan: I have a twisted mind. Anyhoo, I hope you liked this better. Sorry if it's disappointing! Eesh…


End file.
